I received the chewing out of my career yesterday. It did not feel good and I was ready to give this all up because I have tolerated much over the past couple of years and I didn't want to take another minute. Everyone around me is unhappy and we are all very tired for being pushed 200% when our physical bodies are only able to provide 100-120% (if even that much).
Defeated was the only work I could use to describe what I felt. This one meeting impacted every part of me up until I went to sleep. All I could do was think how my reported project time shows that I am working 170% for the month of February. Who has time for this, really? Imagine how my son has suffered and even my own body for the past couple of weeks. February was the highest reported month, but my other months are all well over 100% too. So, I finally went to sleep after having the privilege to go down and pray at the church. I didn't really feel any better.
It dawned on me as I woke up at the crack of dawn. I am wrong for the way I have been thinking. My mindset is out of the will of God. Though I have the right to cry out in frustration and everything requires me to do a less than 100% job (which is really hard for me as a perfectionist), my attitude has been wrong. God put in my spirit this morning one thing, your mindset has been to barely make it by because you feel you can't give anymore. Physically you cannot, but mentally you can. If I would have just changed the way I approached each situation, I believe I would have avoided the mental beating of my career. You know what, I deserved it because I have been doing nothing but complaining.
Before, I use to laugh at my employers and say in my mind, you are lucky that God requires me to give 100% and do my best in all things. Now, my mind is saying I am blessed for this job and they deserve better.
If you have been complaining about a situation in your life, my advise would be to stop. You are probably justified in your complaints, but you are not right in your mind. Change today. It will make your tomorrow better. God knows.
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"I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth" Genesis 9:13
2 comments:
Hi Philana,
Hope you are doing well. Did you happen to work in Lake Forrest a while back? I think I worked with you at some place where we talked to customers about dental plans. Don't know if you remember. Anyways, my name is Luis. I used to live in Santa Ana and gave you a ride one time to pick up your son. Would love to hear from you. Email me at losangeles_legend@hotmail.com
Yes, I remember you. You lived close to my nanny. Good to hear from you. I would love to see how things are going for you.
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