So in the middle of my reading, I began to think about the relation of single parents and physical touch. How does a single parent who is living for God give and receive physical touch without crossing the boundaries of the flesh and enter into lustful temptations? As a single parent, will I ever be able to fill my emotional tank from someone other than my child? Will that need ever be able to be fulfilled while I wait for matrimonial bliss, if this is the path that I will eventually take? I have at times wondered, do the wedded or never married understand the physical trials we [single parents] face?
Yes, yes, yes! Though at times things seem out of sorts and unfulfilling, there is a way. I have thought on this, battled with this, and finally relinquished the burden of it to God. For you who speak the language of physical touch, you too can fill your emotional tank. Here is how.
For the Singles/Never Married/Once Married/etc:
This may sound unrealistic, but in all reality the first place you need to look to is God and not to man. GOD IS OMNIPRESENT. He is there when you need Him. You need a hug, ask Him. You need physical comforting, ask Him. I’m not playing. Yes, He is a spirit, but He also once came down and manifested Himself into man. He fully understands the needs of physical touch. He experienced the beauty of a mother’s touch, or a father’s pat on the back. He knows about the bedtime stories and cuddling. Outside of the parental touch, I’m sure He at one point was tempted by flesh. The bible says that Jesus was not appealing to the eyes, but I bet that some woman found him appealing. Really, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, attraction does not always stem from looks, but from power, authority and a demanding appeal. He had all of those, even to the unbeliever. He never sinned, you never hear about His disciples dealing with lust. They focused on God and the kingdom of heaven, instead of the advances of women. That’s what we must do even when it seems impossible, Keep Your Eyes on God. By staying focused your physical desires can be fulfilled through the Spirit.
Have you ever been praying and felt a strong presence of the Lord? It’s almost
like someone is right there with you. I have. There have been several times when
I have been praying and I feel the warmth of loving arms surrounding me. It is
so real, I have opened my eyes expecting to see someone only to see nothing.
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, evidence of things not seen (Hebrews
11:1). I could not see Him by sight, but I could feel him by faith. It was at
these moments my battles were won. He touched me, I know he touched me, and oh
the joy that floods my soul.
God understands what we need and when we need it. He knew that I needed a hug and not a pat on the back. He knew I needed to feel secure and only the language of physical touch could provide that sense of security and love that I was seeking. He knows and He can provide. So, ask Him and see what He can do for you.
For the fellow church family:
You are awesome. You know why? Because we pray together. Do you know that we are filling love tanks when we pray together? Ladies, when we join together as one or even just jointly pray we are communicating love through the language of physical touch? I can’t say how many times, I was going through the “unloved” stage of being single and really wanting just a hug, when one of you would come put your arms around me and pray with me. All I wanted was affirmation and you provided it through the simple act of prayer. You were an answer to prayer. This is one thing that made me fall in love with this church as well as Pentecost. The friendliness, the sensitivity to the needs of others is evident daily. Sometimes a hug or a touch to the arm are the only words that need to be spoken. So, when you see someone praying alone, unite with them, because you are not only unifying in the spirit, but are providing love, through an unspoken language that can speak louder than words.
Crossing Boundaries:
As for crossing boundaries, all I can say is, if you live in the flesh, you will cross boundaries. If you live with the Spirit in you, the issue of flesh will seem like an anthill and not a mountain. Flesh should not have dominion over you, and if it does then the Spirit cannot. This is not easy when we are surrounded by flesh and lots of it pretty much everywhere we go. This country particularly lives by the “Sex sells” philosophy. Its pretty sad when restaurants think the only way to sell a burger is by putting a woman in a bikini in the advertisement. They know that what appeals to the eyes will ignite physical desires whether this is eating a burger or drinking a soda. So don’t let your flesh have control over you, but keep control of your flesh and you will remain within the physical boundaries and be able to benefit from the language of physical touch.
Ultimately, my need for physical touch has been fulfilled. I still battle with the “unloved” stage every now and then. Those are the times when I am giving more hugs, because I want some in return. Those are the times, I go pray with others even more because my temptations are being conquered by giving to others what I want done to me. Do unto others as you wish them to do unto you. Sometimes you have to give in order to receive. Its okay to have needs, we are human, but sometimes you have to let others know what your need are so that they don’t waste time in trying to guess and possibly miss your hints all together.
Stay tuned for more on
the Love Languages of a
Single Parent...
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